


Here and Now

by radikalsheek



Series: Here and Now [1]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-08
Updated: 2014-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-23 23:31:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1583414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radikalsheek/pseuds/radikalsheek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan and Adam are creations of Maggie Stiefvater. I thank her for them. They are wonderful. </p><p> </p><p>Set directly after and follows "First and Third" so read that first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

By Sunday night, they were exhausted. They had crammed, as Ronan said, more action into one weekend than either of them had had in their entire lives. They had been apart for the hours of Adam’s work on Saturday but Adam had been distracted and every minute away from Ronan unimportant. They hadn’t been out of touching distance since Adam had burst back into Monmouth and Ronan had wrapped himself around Adam as if he had been gone months instead of hours. 

Even now, sated and surfeit, draped on the couch, their hands wandered and clung. They were coming off the high of another marathon make-out session and were meandering through a conversation that continually lost words in each other’s eyes. Ronan was relating stories of kissing girls in middle school, spin the bottle parties that had left him confused and reluctant compared to his friends. Adam was mostly listening but distracted by Ronan’s mouth and the time that stretched since he had last kissed it. 

“Gansey,” said Adam.

“Did you just call me Gansey?”

Adam nodded over Ronan’s shoulder.

“No, I just called Gansey Gansey.” 

Ronan twisted to look.

It was Gansey. Preoccupied, they had managed to miss his arrival and now Gansey was rooted to the floor, staring at them. Adam thought he looked like he had felt yesterday, the rude shock of going back out into the world, amazed that cars still drove and people bought groceries when his world had turned upside down, inside out and Ronan Lynch was his to touch. 

They hadn’t planned or discussed the what and how of this and Gansey was…still rooted to the floor, his eyes glued to Ronan’s hand on Adam’s back and Adam’s thighs straddling Ronan’s leg. 

Ronan leaned backwards and waved an arm at Gansey.

“Hey. You made it back tonight. How was it? Found the Ivy League of your dreams?”

Gansey wandered towards them. He looked worn. 

“Think nightmare would be the more accurate designation.” There was a small silence where Gansey’s eyes traveled over their sprawl again. Adam was conscious of his body tensing, pushed down the urge to fidget or move. There was no point in moving, denying, pretending this was anything other than what it was. Every line of Ronan’s body was relaxed, he looked thoroughly at ease and Adam envied his composure. Ronan’s fingers wrapped around Adam’s wrist and moved in slow strokes. Adam fought down a shiver, watched Gansey’s eyes follow Ronan’s hand.

Ronan cleared his throat. 

“So, um. This happened.” He gestured to Adam and then back to himself. 

“So I see,” said Gansey. “That’s….good?”

“Very.” said Ronan, with the perfect emphasis. “Unexpected but good. Very very good.”

“Ah,” said Gansey and his expression relaxed. 

“You wanna see if Blue is free and hit Nino’s?” suggested Ronan.

Gansey’s face glowed. 

“Sounds like the best idea I’ve heard all weekend.” he said, reaching for his phone. 

“Just like that?”, murmured Adam, leaning into Ronan as Gansey turned away, bright with hope. 

“Just like that.” said Ronan. His eyes were shockingly blue. Adam leaned in, then hesitated, wanting the feel of Ronan’s lips again, to nuzzle his neck and nip at his chin but acutely conscious of Gansey, looking like an eager teenager as he talked to the girl he couldn’t kiss. 

“I want to kiss you too,” murmured Ronan, more breath than speech. “but…” Ronan trailed off, flicked his eyes at Gansey. Adam nodded. 

“Yeah.” 

Ronan blinked at him. It was a slow blink with his eyes lingering at half-mast before languidly closing all the way,then flaring open. It was deliberate. It was sexy as hell. Adam’s insides did a slow twist. His body snapped and fizzed. It was astonishingly intimate. Adam felt kissed. He did a slow blink of his own back, doubted it was as sexy but Ronan’s mouth curled in response and his eyes were warm on his face, lingering on his lips.

Gansey slapped his phone against his leg, snapping their mutual regard. He was bristling with energy, so obviously keen. Adam wondered at what point he had ceased to care and at what future point he would let Gansey know. He unwound from Ronan, conscious of the movement of legs and body as Ronan rose and came to stand beside him, closer than he would have mere days ago. Adam resisted the urge to touch, to move closer still. He watched Gansey take note of the lack of distance between them. 

“I could eat a horse. Or ten pizzas.” said Ronan. Adam wondered if his relaxation was real or just very convincing. 

As they clattered down the steps and to the Pig, Adam crawling into the back, Ronan dropping into the passenger seat it felt almost, almost like a regular outing on a regular Sunday to regular Nino’s where they were regulars except for the deep look that Ronan aimed at Adam before twisting back to argue over music with Gansey, except that every neuron in Adam’s body was hyper-aware of Ronan and every neuron wanted contact. He felt raw and exposed, simmering with want and confusion and joy. He wanted to go back to Monmouth, to Ronan’s room. 

When they pulled up at Fox Way, Gansey all but bounced out of his seat and up the walk. As he disappeared into the dark, Adam moved, lunging forward to wrap his arms around Ronan, running his hands up Ronan’s arms, burrowing under the sleeves of his t-shirt to rest on his biceps. He pressed his face into the side of Ronan’s neck, inhaling deeply, absorbing Ronan with as many senses as possible. He was shocked at the relief coursing through him at the contact. Ronan shifted his head to nuzzle his ear. 

“It feels like forever since I last kissed you.” 

Adam laughed, release making it over loud. It was not just him then.

“It has been forever”, he said, turning to bring his lips in front of Ronan’s. “Kiss me, now, before they come back.”

Their lips touched, held, pulled away only to meet again and again until they were breathless and there were voices outside coming nearer. Adam slid back into the dark of the back seat, breathing deep. Ronan sprang to life, leaping out of his seat, moving it forward and sliding in beside Adam as Blue arrived at the passenger door.

“Oh, there’s no need. My legs are so much shorter, I can-“

“It’s fine”, said Ronan, sliding an arm over the back of the seat just above Adam’s shoulders. Adam curled into him almost automatically. He ignored whatever came next in the conversation, preferring to savor Ronan’s nearness instead. His hand, seemingly with its own intentions, slid up Ronan’s leg until Ronan’s own closed over it, pinning it and Ronan shot him a warning look. Adam wanted to laugh, suspected it would come out as over-wrought as he felt but it was thrilling to be this close, to know Ronan was as turned on right now as he was. He wondered if Ronan felt as out of control. Adam concentrated on breathing evenly, aware of the rise and fall of Ronan’s chest beside him. He tilted his head back against the seat, looking up to catch Ronan’s face as the street lights slid over and around it.

Blue must have asked something. Gansey was shaking his head into the silence and she twisted in her seat to look into the back of car. Her head snapped back to the front. She turned for a longer look before turning back to raise both eyebrows at Gansey. Adam ignored the byplay between them and went back to watching Ronan. 

Then they were at Nino’s and in their booth and Ronan was across the table which was good for viewing but sadly out of touching distance. Adam was not especially hungry. He could eat but it was more opportunity than need. The thing he was most interested in was sitting opposite him, distractedly staring at Adam’s hands. 

Gansey waved a hand in front of Ronan’s face.

“What the fuck?”

“I said, do you want to split the Pepperoni, the Supreme and—?”

“Oh, anything.” Ronan’s gaze dropped back to Adam’s hands. Adam twisted them on the menu. He fought back another wild laugh. Ronan was notoriously finicky with his order and he was currently missing the prodigious eye rolling going on around the table. 

“I’ll order the chicken tandoori.” 

“Sure”, Gansey looked severely tempted but If Ronan even noticed, he would refuse to touch the chicken tandoori in the name of crimes against pizza and end up eating everyone else’s anyway. 

Adam bought a hand up to his mouth and Ronan’s eyes followed it. He ran a finger across his lips. Ronan’s gaze sharpened. 

“Okay, you two need to stop.”

Blue had everyone’s attention.

“I mean, you’re super cute and it was okay when you were doing the “world could fall apart and we wouldn’t notice because we’re busy staring at each other” thing but now you’re doing the “I want to throw you across the table and get X rated here and now thing”, which I wouldn’t necessarily mind, but I am kind of hungry and I don’t want to eat with all this steam going on. Okay?”

“You want to watch us get X rated?” Ronan smirked.

“Well, maybe not X. What?” Blue said, with a smirk of her own at the look on Gansey and Adams’ faces. “If two hot girls start making out at a party, all the guys start hooting. Okay”, she said to Ronan whose mouth puckered in denial “most of the guys start hooting. Why shouldn’t I want to watch two hot guys?”

“You think we’re hot? You want to watch?”

“Oh shut up”, she said but she was grinning as she said it. She liked this version of Ronan whose eyes looked like someone had lit a lamp in them, whose body was lolling across his chair, free of its usual coils and whose mouth had a smile hovering rather than a sneer. “You’d watch too.” 

Ronan pointed a finger at her. 

“I am not going to be your gay best friend.” 

“You don’t want to watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s with me? Talk about Holly’s clothes?”

“Roadhouse. Fight Club.”

“Figures. 300?” A strong favorite at Fox Way. 

“Um, no. Way too gay.” 

Blue dissolved into unexpected giggles at this response and they proved contagious. Noah materialized as any awkwardness between them faded with laughter. Adam caught a look of deep gladness on Gansey’s face as he watched Ronan bicker with Blue and tease Noah, both without his usual edge. His own gaze slid back to Ronan, caught his eyes and watched the blue of them deepen as they looked at him. His stomach was twisting, heat rising in his veins, along his skin. Out of the corner of his vision, he saw Gansey shoot him a complex look, laced with entreaty that he didn’t know how or if he should answer. Blue was loudly suggesting the check arrive ASAP and Noah was adding unexpectedly lewd commentary to the proceedings. He ignored them all, focusing instead on the warmth in Ronan’s eyes. Ronan’s glare had always been one of his primary weapons but Adam was discovering the flipside version that could be an equally powerful draw.


	2. Chapter 2

Days of togetherness led to those of separation. Adam was trying to get as much work as possible storing up money and hours before the approaching school year. Two nights apart and on the third, Ronan’s soft knock made his heart turn over. Ronan’s fingers were gentle on the gathering shadows beneath his eyes and the feel of him as he slid into Adam’s sheets made Adam blink sudden moisture from his lashes. Adam was beyond tired but Ronan nestled close, kissed the back of his neck and said “Sleep. Just wanted to see you.” In the morning, Ronan was gone and Adam thought he may have dreamed it but the warmth of the bed and the smell of Ronan on his pillow said otherwise. Opening his door, he nearly tripped over the cardboard tray with a latte and two of his favorite caramel donuts on the doorstep. Adam held the coffee close, savored every bite and smiled giddily through his morning. 

The following week, the gods of time and scheduling were definitely conspiring against them. Ronan spent time in Cabeswater with his mother and Matthew. His presence was further requested as Aurora attempted rapprochement with her older sons. Ronan called on Gansey’s cell and Adam could hear the frustration in his voice as they talked, wanting to be together but mutually reluctant to let others - especially Declan types of others - know just why they were so eager. 

Four days apart felt like a lifetime. On the fifth, Adam was a bundle of jangling nerves and imperative body parts. He had planned to work late, sleep well and get to Monmouth the following day but as his shift dragged on, he could think of nothing but the craving to see Ronan. Close to midnight, he raced through the streets and up the Monmouth steps, fatigue forgotten. The lights were on and for once, he was grateful for insomniac friends. Gansey answered his urgent knock and Adam was greeting him when the door to Ronan’s room opened and there he was, barefoot and jean clad. Adam forgot all else, leaving Gansey gaping by the door as he sped past and hurled himself at Ronan. 

“He looked like he was trying to climb him and undress him at the same time” Gansey told Blue after recovering and calling to regale her with the latest in this entertaining saga. Ronan’s newfound tendency to stare dreamily into space, his half finished sentences and ongoing distraction had amused and frustrated by turns all week. “Ronan half carried, half dragged him into his room.”

“Mmmm”, said Blue.  
“My God,” said Gansey as a sudden noise pierced the Monmouth night, “Is that _Adam?_ He’s…wailing.” 

“Mmmm” said Blue again and Gansey was taken back by the interest in her voice. She - and apparently Orla - were very _curious_ about all this. “Do you want to get out of there and leave them to it? Why don’t you come over?”

 

On the other side of the door, there was an unexpected problem with Ronan’s pants. The zip was proving stubborn and Adam was not willing to remove his mouth from Ronan’s long enough to investigate. They hadn’t made it past the door, or the back of the door to be more precise. He unwound a leg from around Ronan and put his foot down to get a stronger grip, yanking at Ronan’s jeans. 

Ronan pulled back long enough to mutter, “Careful of the equipment” before leaning in to kiss him again.  
“The equipment? That’s what you call it? No fancy names?”  
“Oh, I have names.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah.” A pause, a long kiss. “Mmmm, the Lynchrod, the LynchaLATOR-“  
“Sensing a theme.”  
“-the Lynchathon, the Ro-MAN”  
“Little Ro-ro?”  
“Fuck off.”  
“Lynch?”  
“Parrish.”  
“Get your damn pants off.”  
There was a rustle of zip and denim and the jeans were gone. Ronan dive-bombed the bed in his boxers, tossing around and leering playfully at Adam as he shimmied out of his own jeans.  
“Attack of the Boxers. Come get Lynched, baayybeee.” 

Adam did his own leap onto the bed, pinned Ronan beneath him and watched as his eyes darkened and the amusement melted, replaced by hunger. Ronan breathed, “Adam” and Adam answered with his lips and it was the last either spoke for some minutes. 

Adam still felt like liquid fire was running through his veins, his skin was itchy and he was prickly with want. Rolling mouth to mouth, chest to chest, groin to groin on the bed with Ronan was making the ache more desperate. He couldn’t kiss Ronan deep enough, pull him close enough or touch him thoroughly enough. Everything was too much and nothing was enough.

“Jesus”, said Ronan, gasping, “What’s gotten in to you tonight?” He rolled them over so Adam was under him. Adam shook his head back and forth, trying to clear it, regain a sense of himself and not this wild, urgent thing that wanted to maul, to claw, to to crawl out of his own skin and into Ronan’s.  
“Dunno,” he said, “but clearly not you.”  
Ronan went still above him.

“I want that”, he said, his eyes gone blue to black. “I want that a lot.” Adam stared up at him, caught by depth of his gaze, the stillness curling out from Ronan’s skin and into Adam’s drawing him into a calmer space. Ronan leaned in to kiss softly, nuzzle his neck. It stained his skin with warmth and settled his restless heat into a deeper ache at the same time. “But I don’t want to be tired, I don’t want to be rushed”  
Ronan kissed him again, lingering, setting words with action. He nibbled Adam’s ear and whispered “I want to be in Cabeswater.”

Cabeswater. It ran across Adam’s body like a charge, sank into his bones with the rightness of it.

“Yes,” he said “When?” 

“You work Saturday?” 

“Yeah. Not Sunday though. Or Monday.” 

“Sunday night then?” 

Their gazes locked, promised and for a while time spun as they floated in one another’s eyes. Response trickled back in, slow then a rush, pore after pore of Adam’s skin crawling with heat. He was aware of Ronan’s body above his, the pressure of it on his own, the touch of Ronan’s hands until he was sticky with need. He moved restlessly, saw Ronan’s expression change but was too twitchy to understand it.

“Meantime,” he said, rubbing his cotton covered hardness against Ronan insistently. 

“Meantime”, said Ronan, then moved like a great cat. He slid down Adam’s body, pulled material out of the way and wrapped his mouth around Adam’s cock. 

Adam howled. They hadn’t done that before. No one had done that before. He hadn’t known Ronan would. Or could. He had never felt anything like it. Ronan’s mouth was soft and firm, wet and hot, sucking the heat from his skin, his blood, pulling it from him in a perfect draw and his tongue, his tongue was moving in way that made Adam’s arms whirl in wild motions. He was not sure where to put them. He wanted to grab, to hold Ronan’s head, he wanted to throw them across his face. Ronan sucked harder. He gave up flailing, his arms suddenly heavy across the bed, grabbing handfuls of sheet, trying to anchor himself against the tide of sensation. Every bit of feeling, every nerve in his body concentrated in the heat and suction of Ronan’s mouth. Adam’s throat was scraped from the sounds he was not conscious of making and the pleasure throughout his body was was building, building…Adam screamed, jack-knifed on the bed, aware that Ronan pulled back a little, heaving slightly. Ronan was nothing if not game so he was soon back, this time taking hold of Adam’s hips which were moving in ways that Adam hadn’t even known they could. But when had they needed to? When had he ever felt anything like this? Dear God, Ronan was sliding his mouth deeper, wetter, more, more everything and Adam was pulsing. The thought flickered that it would be polite to warn but he was already coming even as he thought it. Frenzied noises ripped from his throat, a roaring in both ears, he was flying to pieces, shattering like the warm brightness of Monmouth’s lights above him, soaring up towards them.

When he came back to himself, he was a boneless sprawl with Ronan propped on an elbow beside him. Ronan looked so smugly pleased that Adam had to smile. He watched Ronan’s mouth curve back at him. The thought that that mouth had been around his cock, that Ronan had swallowed his semen, that if he kissed him, Ronan would taste of him made his guts churn with excitement and tension. And pride. Pride in Ronan for going there, pride in himself that Ronan had wanted to do that to him. He didn’t think he could do that yet, couldn’t get over the fact that Ronan had. Ronan’s own erection pressed into Adam’s hip but not urgently. Ronan looked content to savor his triumph a while longer. 

“How did you? Where did you..I mean, when? How?”

Ronan grinned wide. There was a wash of color across his cheekbones and his eyes shone. The expression made Adam’s chest contract, his breath hard to find. He had never seen Ronan look so…beautiful. He wanted to see Ronan look like this more often, could never get tired of it. 

“Ronan?”

There was mischief on his face. He looked like the boy who had been peeking at presents on Christmas Eve, the kid with a special surprise he couldn’t wait to share in circle time.

“I’ve been practicing on bananas.” Ronan said “Kind of sick of them now. And Gansey’s freaking out about my potassium intake. Worth it though, you taste so fucking good.”


	3. Chapter 3

Adam was propped on the bed reading when Ronan crashed into his room, Chainsaw on his shoulder. Chainsaw “Kerah”ed a greeting and flew off to perch above her cage. Ronan did a double take at the sight of Adam.

“Oh hey, didn’t realize you were here”, he said.

“I know. I was being quiet.” said Adam.

“Gansey was looking for you. He was going to try at St Agnes.” 

“I know,” said Adam.

“You avoiding Gansey?”

“I’m avoiding Gansey.” 

Ronan crawled over Adam, taking his time, lingering to press into him, making Adam smile at his elaborate movements. Settled on Adam’s far side, he stroked a hand through Adam’s hair, let is slide down his back and hook into his jeans. He curled around Adam, making Adam smile harder. He raised his brows.

Adam sighed, put down his book. 

“He wants to have an awkward Gansey conversation. About my intentions towards you.” 

Ronan’s brows rose even higher.

“What the fuck?”

“He’s being protective Gansey. Also interfering Gansey. He’s going to do it sooner or later, I just didn’t want to deal with it yet.”

“He hasn’t said anything to me.” 

“No.”

Adam didn’t answer. Ronan poked him in the back. Adam sighed.

“He wants to tell me not to hurt you. That you’ve been hurt enough and I shouldn’t get any further into this, lead you on, unless I’m serious.” 

Ronan’s brows snapped together.

“None of his damn business.” 

“He’s Gansey.”

“Yeah.”

There was a small silence. 

“You’ve been hurt too.” 

“I know." 

They had both been kicked around by love. Adam had had too little, had not even begun to deal with the scars from that. As for Ronan, was there such a thing as loving too much? Ronan had loved without judgement or condition and the loss of that had devastated him. Adam could understand why Gansey would be more protective of Ronan. Ronan’s heart was very clearly not just on his sleeve but all over him. Gansey wasn’t so sure of Adam. Ronan didn’t do casual but when he did wade in, he did it with boots on, with everything that he was and kept going until he was out of sight of the shoreline. Gansey would worry until he knew that Adam wasn’t going to pull him under. Adam could see that fear deepening every time Gansey looked at them lately. He could tell Gansey was itching to say, “Don’t hurt him.” But Ronan had always been stronger than Gansey believed and needed to be less dependent than Gansey would agree. Adam felt, at least once a day, that he did not deserve Ronan or the love that he did not need to confess for Adam to see it. He didn’t deserve the consideration, the kindness. He certainly didn’t deserve the trust but he was doing his best to live up to Ronan’s faith in him. It was hard to love someone else when you didn’t believe you had anything of worth to give back but Adam was trying and every day it was a little easier. He had no intention of hurting the one person whose presence was vital, whose happiness had become paramount but when he stopped to think how easily Ronan gave, how much he should expect in return, how entangled their lives had become, it was terrifying. Adam did not yet have the words, did not want to express any of this so he would continue to avoid Gansey until he could not. 

“Ro?”

“Hmmm?”

“Did Gansey always know you were gay?”

“Yeah.” Ronan’s hand was playing with the hair on the back of Adam’s neck. It made Adam feel as if every knot in his body unwound and dribbled out his fingers. “I mean, I didn’t tell him, there was no discussion or anything. When we became friends, we were hanging out, there was this guy. He was older and he was so…I had this thing and fuck,” Ronan ran a hand over his face. “I was what? 14? 15? I was so not subtle. Jesus. When I think of it now….” Ronan winced in recollection of his younger self. “Not subtle at all. Anyway Gansey knew pretty fast. Had to listen to me. Came up with some schemes. Fuck. Luckily, none of which happened. And then…”

Adam knew what had happened. Niall Lynch was the “and then”. He wriggled closer to Ronan, knit his fingers with the ones that were roaming his neck. 

“Yeah, Gansey knew. About me. I guess you surprised him. Surprised me too, remember?” 

“Yeah”.

They smiled at each other for a while. Ronan’s other hand slipped under his shirt, tracing small circles on his back. Somewhere in his lower region, a pulse began a steady clamor and Adam guessed they would probably not be talking for much longer. 

“Do you think,” asked Ronan “that Gansey thinks maybe you’re experimenting? With me? And you’ll run off with a hot co-ed first chance you get?”

“Is that what you think?”

Ronan shrugged. 

“I don’t know, I don’t know what’s going to happen. The college thing is hanging heavy over Gansey. He doesn’t want things to change, to end. Gansey just wants to people to be happy. He doesn’t care who sleeps with what so long as it’s hurting no-one and you’re good with it. That’s all, all he’s ever wanted for all us. Happy and safe. You, this, it's good.” Ronan’s hand cupped his face, stroked his jaw and slipped his thumb into Adam’s mouth. Adam bit it gently. Ronan smiled. “Here and now, you make me happy and if you’re experimenting, then I’m up for all the experiments you want to make. Tell Gansey that.”

Adam slid both arms around Ronan’s neck, brought his mouth to hover in front of Ronan’s. 

“I intend to make you happy for as long as I can, for as long as we both want. And experiment with you as hard as I can, as often as I can. That’s my intention.”

“Sounds good to me”, said Ronan and Adam kissed him.


End file.
